Recycle your regrets

I have decided to stop taking long showers. First, it is not so good for the environment. Second, makes me think too much. A friend of mine once told me that a long warm shower relieves his anxiety and helps dealing with pressure. I, however, have had different experience. How is it possible that an arguably pleasant and calming sound of running water brings up so many fast thoughts and memories? 

Why do we like memories anyway? They make us go back to the past and be stuck there wasting the priceless moments of now. Although the worst thing about memories is that they are perfectly skilled at provoking unwanted and unexpected feelings of regret. 

I love reading Erich Maria Remarque and one of my favourite quotes comes from his novel "Arch of Triumph".

“Regret is the most pointless thing in the world. Nothing can be turned back. Nothing can be changed. Otherwise we would all be saints. Life didn’t intend to make us perfect. Whoever is perfect belongs in a museum.” 

I couldn`t agree more with the author. The strange thing is though that agreeing and understanding the point he makes doesn`t mean it is easy applying it to your everyday life.

I love this paradox of the way the human mind works: we see so clearly that there is no use in regret; we know that we only have today to live; and yet again, our brain or heart keeps wondering about past opportunities, options and decisions made. "I should have done this, I could have done that... I am looking back and this is how I would play it". It is like pretending or imagining to have a superpower for a moment which you can use to choose again. And then suddenly realising that you can`t change the reality and that the superpower is only a dream.

 

What a waste of time! But somehow also a kind of painful pleasure for the mind (maybe like an S&M game for your brain and soul?). 

So why do we escape the reality by drowning ourselves in memories and regrets? Why do we press re-play/repeat button in our heads so often? Maybe we do it to dissolve our current anxieties and doubts in the waters of our history. 

So on one hand regret is indeed pointless, but maybe it could also represent the first step one takes to change their life situation?!  

If you realise that you regret your actions or choices, you do have the ability to do something different today or tomorrow or whenever you are ready. 

The feeling of regret is a signal that you want a change and most likely there is no way back to that happy moment you lived before, but there is certainly an opportunity to try and create a better one.

This way we can magically turn a pointless feeling that has appeared into something new and useful, an action, for example, - which is similar to recycling. Remarque was so right - regret is GARBITCH!

Let`s not dwell on our regrets, my friends, but rather recycle them into being brave, spontaneous and ready to act in search of true happiness.